The DeSoto Plymouth Dealers, from coast to coast, in every state in the Union, present
Roucho Marx in You Bet Your Life. And now, here he is, the one, the only, Roucho!
Well, here I am again with $3,000 for one of our couples. Let him say the secret word,
they'll win $100. The word tonight is clock. Okay, Doc, you're excused.
Roucho, we invited some dancing instructors to the program tonight, and just before we
went on the air, our studio audience selected Miss Ann Reardon. Her partner is Mr. Bill
Eddy. So, folks, would you come in, please, and meet Roucho Marx.
Welcome to the DeSoto Plymouth Dealers. Say the secret word and divide $100. It's a common
word, something you see every day. Ann Reardon and Bill Eddy. Ann, you're a dancing instructor,
it says here, huh? Yes. Where are you from, Annie? Well, I was originally from St. Louis,
and I lived in Chicago, but I've been out here since I was 12 years old. In other words,
Annie doesn't live there anymore. That's right. Are you single? Yes. I hope I'm correct in
guessing you're not engaged. Am I correct? Yes. Are you busy tonight? Yes. You say yes?
Yes. Tomorrow night? Yes. You said yes four times in a row. You realize that? Yes. Apparently
the answer is still no. Bill Eddy, that's you, huh? Yes. I don't care how many times
you say yes. Bill, are you married? No. Engaged? No. If you found the right girl, would you
like to get married? Yes, I think I would. Can you support a wife, Bill? Well, reasonably
well. You're walking on quicksand. Where do you work? I work for the Bank of America in
Glendale, Maine office. You work at the Bank of America, Ann? Congratulations. This is
better than striking oil. Bill, what do you think of Ann? Be candid, as you like. You
know, you're among friends. Well, on such short acquaintanceship, I think she's a very
lovely and charming girl. I haven't seen a banker pay that much interest since the boom
of 87. What do you do at this bank, Bill? I'm a lending officer. Oh. I accept applications
for loans from individuals and companies, investigate their credit background, employment,
verify their salary and length of employment, etc. Would you lend me any money? Well, are
you gainfully employed? I won't know until the show comes out. What else would you want
to know about me? Well, I'd have to know your salary, how long you've been employed, your
prospects for future employment, what you wanted the money for, etc. You know what I
want the money for. I've often wondered about banks with all that money around. How do they
know you fellas won't take home a few samples? Well, the bank conducts a very thorough investigation
and ascertains our honesty before we're employed. That's not important. They better make sure
you're honest after they hire you. Isn't there some little way an employee can make an honest
mistake like slipping a couple of thousand under his toupee? Well... Be honest, isn't
there? Oh, a teller could go out to lunch and take a couple grand with him and not come
back, but it wouldn't be long before his absence was noticed and he'd be caught eventually.
Yes, but by this time he'd have had the lunch. Well, apparently you've been giving this some
thought anyhow, haven't you? And you may have your honeymoon in Rio de Janeiro. Bill, by
the way, I know the Bank of America is a very big bank. It happens I've got $32 there myself.
Just between us, what assurance do I have that this money is safe? Well, all deposits
up to $10,000 are insured by the federal government in Washington. That's my guarantee? Yes. Have
you heard that the federal government is about $280 billion in the hole? And that's after
they collected Crosby's taxes. Let's talk about you, Ann. Where do you do your dancing?
The Arthur Murray Studio on Wilshire Boulevard. Oh, Arthur Murray. I know him very well. As
a matter of fact, I was on his show a few weeks ago. Did you see it? No. You didn't,
huh? What are some of the common faults you find among men dancers besides their desire
to stay you to the back porch as soon as possible? Oh, among the many faults, they're the kind
that dance, so what we call side saddle, you know, off to the side so they can peer around
your shoulder. Why do they want to look around your shoulder? What's going on back there?
See where they're going. And all the talkers, you know. Talkers? They tell you that their
wife doesn't understand them? No, they count all the time. They count? Yes, slow, slow,
quick, quick, slow, slow, quick, quick. All the time in your ear. Ann, do you think you
could teach this guy anything? Oh, I'm sure I could. Bill, when do you think you'll get
together with her just to kind of talk things over, huh? Well, we discussed this a little
bit before the show and we decided if we won any money, why we might get together after
the show and talk it over a little bit. This was, you knew this all the time when I was
talking to her? At the beginning, yes. Like a cat playing with a mouse, huh? Well, she
gave the right answers. It was more like a rat playing with a mouse. You two have already
gotten together, huh? Well, I swan. Gosh, I haven't swan in years. Apparently, he doesn't
spend all his time foreclosing mortgages. Well, you're a very attractive couple and
Ann or Bill has trouble carrying you across the threshold. After you marry, don't worry,
do what I do. Let the Bank of America carry you. Now, let's see how much money you can
win. You beat our other couples, you get a chance at the big money. Now, let's see, you
select a general information quiz. And remember, the more the question is worth, the harder
it is. 70. 70, eh? 70, yeah. All right, in a matrimonial, a general information quiz,
in a matrimonial sense, what is a Benedict? 70. 70. I might just want to guess. It's a
ring. The guy who gives a ring. Okay, a ring. Think the father gives a ring to the groom?
No, that's a married man, usually newly married. Well, that's single, I'm sorry. Now, what
question do you want? You still got lots of chances. 80, 60, 60. 60. What kind of a business
establishment would you associate with a mortar and pestle? A plasterer. A plasterer? Either
a drug store or a pharmacist. Or a pharmacist. He grinds it up, you know. That's right. Well,
now what do you want? Let's go for 50. 50. According to Mother Goose, who went to bed
with one shoe on? This will have to be yours. See, a married man with children would know
this. Oh, I know, it's Diddle Diddle Dumpling, my son John, went to bed with his stockings
on. One shoe off and one shoe on, Diddle Diddle Dumpling, my son John. You see, you have to
have children. Remember that. Now then, it's your last chance to beat the other couples.
What question are you going to go for? Should we go low or try for a big one? 80. 80. 80
dollars. 80 dollars. What do you call a freshman at West Point? Plebe. Plebe. Plebe is right.
At least you have 80 dollars. Thank you and good luck with the Dakota Plymouth Deals.
This is the California desert. A real desert of deep, loose sand, treacherous soft shoulders,
blistering heat. And this is a lovely 1954 DeSoto Automatic on the desert road. Now watch.
We're driving this DeSoto Automatic out into the sand. In an ordinary car, it would be
almost impossible to move or steer in this type of sand. Watch this though. The world's
newest and finest fully automatic transmission, power flight transmission, lets the DeSoto
Automatic accelerate smoothly, steadily, evenly with great power, even here. And steering
is simple, even through heavy, treacherous sand, with DeSoto full-time power steering.
The power steering that works for you all the time makes turning the steering wheel
as easy as dialing a phone. There are hundreds of reasons why this lovely 1954 DeSoto deserves
the name automatic. Reasons you should discover for yourself. Go to your DeSoto Plymouth dealer
soon. See and drive the beautiful, stylish, distinctive 1954 DeSoto Automatic. It's available
in two full series, the mighty 170 horsepower Fire Dome 8 and the brilliant Power Master
6. Convince yourself that this year, DeSoto puts you ahead automatically.
Well now we have a young lady with an interesting job, Groucho. Her name is Shirley Lestel and
her partner is Mr. Charles Sandoval. So folks, would you come in please and meet Groucho
Marx. Well welcome, welcome to the DeSoto Plymouth Dealers. There's one of them out
front. Say the secret word and you'll divide $100. It's a common word, something you see
every day. Let's see, Charles Sandoval and Shirley Lestel, eh? You're Shirley, eh? Yes
sir. Shirley, you don't mind my calling you Shirley on such short acquaintance, do you?
Not at all. What did you say? I said I don't mind you calling me Shirley. You always talk
that way? Well I guess so. My voice didn't change as I grew up. Oh, it's lucky your voice
didn't change, otherwise I'd be calling you Sam. Now how old are you, Shirley? 25. 25?
Yes. Ah, you're a fine looking girl. Mr. Charles Sandoval, is that you? Yes sir. I can't help
but notice that patch over your eye. Is that anything serious? No sir, the bright lights
hurt my eyes. Oh. Is your chin sensitive to light too? No sir. Where are you from originally?
I was born in the city of San Salvador in the Republic of Salvador. Oh, well why did
you leave San Salvador? Did you get tired of bananas? No, there was a revolution in
1929 and my father thought it would be a good time to leave the country. You mean he let
a little revolution scare him? No. Was he a coward? No, certainly not. He was a president.
Well the job blew up in his face then, huh? I don't blame him for quitting. There's not
much chance for advancement in a job like that. Shirley, let's get back to you. There's
one question I haven't asked. You are married, huh? Yes sir. Do you have any outside interest
Shirley or do you spend all your time keeping house? Oh no, I work for a paper made pen
company. I have for the last two years. Oh, well what do you do as a paper maid? Well,
right now I'm doing the first assembly. I've done fillers, first assembly, final assembly,
inspection. What's a filler? A filler is the... And that's the fellow you were married to,
I don't mean him. Well a filler in a paper made pen is the little inside that you write
with. That's what you buy when you run out of ink, but it doesn't happen very often.
Only when you write, I guess, huh? There's about 70,000 words there. There is. I don't
know that many words. Suppose I were to buy one, how would I know if it was any good,
assuming that I did buy one? Well, it would be good if you bought it because each pen
is tested. We've got 20 girls. Do you test them underwater? No, on paper. We have 20
girls that write Johnson all day long. Johnson must get an awful lot of mail, huh? Why do
they write Johnson? I happen to know Johnson, he can't even read. Besides, Mary's a married
man. Does Mrs. Johnson get wind of this? No, but Johnson has all the necessary loops
and swirls and straight lines. If you think Johnson has them, you should see Mrs. Johnson.
I've got an experience talking to you two, but I'm sure you'd be much more interested
in winning some money, wouldn't you? That's right. So let's play your Bet Your Life. Beat
our other couples, you'll get a chance at the big money later. The banker and the dancing
instructor won $80. The secret word is clock. All right, now let's see how much money you
can make. You selected science and medicine. Remember, the more the question is worth,
the harder it is. Now what do you want? $10, $1, $80, $100? Talk it over, you're partners.
$60, please. $60. What is another word for vertigo? Vertigo, dizziness. That's right.
Off to a good start with $60. By Jove, that was right, Charlie. Now what one do you want?
$70. What do you call the colored part of the eye? The pupil. The colored part of the
eye is the retina. Now the boat's gone, Charlie. It's the iris. You still have $60, however.
Now you have $60. Now what do you want? $80. Okay. What is the common word for clavicle?
Clavicle, collarbone. That's right. You now have $140. Now what do you want to try?
$90. Is your last chance to meet the other couple? $90. $90. What is the science that
deals with birds called? Ornithology. That is absolutely correct. And you wind up with
$230. Thanks and good luck to the DeSoto Plymouth Dealers. That one fellow.
Now before we proceed, I have a telegram here I want to read. This is the Groucho Marx NBC
Hollywood. Now we rarely do this. This is the wire. 500 radio and TV editors participating
in the annual Motion Picture Herald. 500 radio and TV editors participating in the annual
Motion Picture Herald and Fame Magazine poll have voted George Fenneman the best announcer
in television. Thanks, gentlemen. Thanks. George, get your head out of the clouds and
tell us who's next. All right, Groucho, we have a guest tonight from Down Under. He's
Mr. And don't ask for more money. You're just wasting your time. No. As a matter of fact,
we may cut you some. We have these encomiums. What? Encomiums. We have a guest tonight from
Down Under. This fellow went to Stanford and I went to Reform School. E-C-O-M-I-U-M-S.
Something like that. We have a guest. E-comiums. Look it up when you get home. I'll do that
for sure. Look under E. We have a guest tonight, Groucho, from Down Under. Mr. Ethel Smurden.
Where is he? In the subway? You'll see in just a minute, I think. Mr. Ethel Smurden
is his name and his partner is a Hollywood pioneer, Miss Mary Sackett. So folks, would
you come in please and meet Groucho Marx. Now you got a box seat. Welcome to the DeSoto
Plymouth. They will say the secret word and you'll divide $100. It's a common word, something
you see every day. Mr. Ethel Smurden. Oh, come now, you just made that up. No, no, no.
My name is Ethel. That's a Scottish name. Ethel? Hmm. Well, why aren't you in a gas
tank? Oh, well, Ethel, you see, is the male equivalent for Ethel, a girl's name. Oh. How
about Smurden? Smurden, well, that's... What kind of a name is Smurden? That's Old English,
Devonshire. My grandfather came from South Devon. Oh. Now where are you from, Mr. Smurden?
I'm from Auckland. Auckland? Well, that's right across the bay from San Francisco, isn't
it? No, Groucho. Auckland, A-U-C-K-L-A-N-D. I don't care how you spell it, it's still
across the bay from San Francisco. Why do you assume this dialect if you're from Auckland?
Well, actually, have you ever heard of New Zealand? New Zealand? Have you ever heard
of Econium? No, frankly, I haven't. Well, that's right across the bay from Auckland.
Thank you. So close. Now let's talk to you, okay, Mrs. Sackett? Miss Sackett, if you
please. Miss Sackett? Thank you. Oh, I'm terribly sorry. No, you may be sorry, but I'm not.
This hasn't been an easy day for me, sir. Well, I'm glad you're not sorry, Mr. Sackett.
You're a spinster, huh? I'm a spinster from Choice. From Choice. Is that near Auckland?
Where were you born? In Suffolk, Connecticut. In Connecticut, huh? Across the alley from
the town hall, opposite the town park, where the town cigar factory in the backyard, the
family orchard and the family garden, my granddad's Connecticut seed leaf tobacco farm, 10 miles
from Spicky and Mass, 16 from Hartford, Connecticut. And if you dispose of the cigar, I'll thank
you.
What? No, you need to allow another. I'm not going to light it. Can I just hold it? No,
I don't like to lose something. Well, how do you feel about me, Mary? Oh, you look all
right, perhaps if you leave the cigar alone. Boy, am I getting pushed around tonight. You
won't invite your old rigs around here, will you? How old are you, Mary? 78 years. 78.
You look like a Britney Spry and Chipper. Mary, how do you account for the fact that
you're so young looking at 78? What do you do to keep in condition? Oh. You don't smoke
cigars, huh? I neither drink nor smoke. And I take breathing exercises. Could you breathe
a little for us, Mary? Say, how about stepping over here, Mary, and do a few of those exercises
for us, huh? This and a slow breath. Well, that was quite a demonstration you put there,
Mary. What else do you do to keep healthy? I walk and talk. Yes, you talk very well.
You caught me out of a cigar. Well, let's play you bet your life, huh? You beat our
other couples, you'll get a chance at the big money. Our second couple leads with $230.
Now, you two have to decide on one answer between you on all these things. Let's see
how much money you can make. You select the geography. And remember, the more the question
is worth, the harder it is. Now, what question do you want to start with? I think we'll
take about number eight. How's that? Number eight? The $80 one? Is that all right with
you, Mary? All right. If I was right with him, it would be all right with me, I expect.
What country does Greenland belong? Iceland. No, it's Denmark. All right, now you've got
three more chances. Say 70. 70. What is the capital city of Alaska? Anchorage. No, it's
Juneau. What one do you want now? What do you want now? 50. Let's go to the big one.
You've got nothing to lose so far. Yeah, we'll go 100. 100? We've got to get together. What
is the largest state east of the Mississippi? Now, you're from the United States. What's
the largest state east of the Mississippi? Texas. Isn't that just like a man? Well, it's
Georgia. That's your last chance to beat the other couple. How much are you going to bet?
You want a $90 one? A $10 one? No, we'll go to 100. Is it all right with you if we go
to 100? That's all right with me. No, you've had the 100. You've got 90. All right, we'll
get a 90. All right. In which of our states do you find Shoshone Falls? S-H-O-S-H-O-N-E.
They're higher than Niagara. Come on, it's yours. I don't need it. What do you think?
Well, I've read Niagara Falls is up by New York. Yeah. No, but this is in the west, and
they're higher than Niagara. Oh, higher than Niagara. That's Idaho, isn't it? That's right.
That's right. And you wind up with $90. Thank you. Glad you didn't leave me a broke, Mary.
Thanks, and good luck from the DeSoto Plymouth dealers. That means our second couple, Shirley
Lestel and her partner, Charles Sandoval, with $230 in just one moment, get the chance
of the DeSoto Plymouth $3,000 question. Before they come back, George, I want you to give
our friends the word on the Groucho Special used car campaign. The Groucho Special campaign
is a tremendous success. Friends, take a good look at this sticker. So many people have
gone to their DeSoto Plymouth dealer for a good used car and said, Groucho sent me, that
your DeSoto Plymouth dealer is doing something extra for Groucho's fans. He's taken the best
used car bargains he has and put this sticker on the windshield, marking the car a Groucho
Special. These Groucho Specials are unusually good cars, especially priced to make them
the hottest values in town. You see, the overwhelming popularity of the 1954 DeSoto means that your
DeSoto Plymouth dealer has obtained some really great used cars in trade. Many of them are
special one-owner cars. The very best will be the ones he selects as Groucho Specials.
So don't miss out on this great opportunity. Tomorrow, first thing, go to your DeSoto Plymouth
dealers and look for the used cars with this sticker. The Groucho Special sticker, sign
of a used car that's a really outstanding buy. There may be one that's just the car you've
been looking for. It's the Groucho Special sticker, your dealer's way of showing you
the real used car value. And when you drive in, tell them Groucho sent you.
Groucho, here comes our winning couple, the man from San Salvador and Shirley Lestel,
all set for the DeSoto Plymouth $3,000 question. Right in there.
All right, for $3,000, I'll give you 15 seconds to decide on a single answer. Think carefully
and please no help from the audience. Here it is. One of the most famous of Greek legends
concerns Jason and his quest for the Golden Fleece. The sailors who accompanied Jason
had many wonderful adventures. For $3,000, what were these sailors called? It is a word
still used frequently.
Ready? Talk it over.
What is the answer you two have decided upon? Argonauts. Argonauts is absolutely right.
$3,000, and that was a tough question. How much did they win in the quiz, George?
$230 in the quiz. Which gives them 32, 32.30. Congratulations on the more than 3,000 DeSoto
Plymouth dealers from coast to coast. You bet your life.
Thank you.
Remember that the dealers who sell the dramatic and remarkable 1954 DeSoto automatic with
fully automatic power flight transmission also sell the new 54 Plymouth, engineered
and built better to be your best buy in the low-priced field. DeSoto Plymouth, two great
new cars, both products of the Chrysler Corporation. Friends, go in to see DeSoto Plymouth dealers
tomorrow and see the 1954 DeSoto automatic. And when you do, tell them Groucho sent you.
Be sure to tune in next week, same time, same station for the Groucho Marx show, You Bet
Your Life, brought to you by the more than 3,000 DeSoto Plymouth dealers of America,
who also bring you the outstanding new dramatic program, Medallion Theater, presented over
another television network. And don't forget Groucho Marx and You Bet Your Life on radio
every Wednesday night. This is George Fenneman signing off with a reminder from the National
Safety Council, don't be a wacky walker, don't cross between intersections.